Married after thirty or Fear of loneliness– In the modern world, the status of a married woman is higher than that of a girl who was not married. This becomes noticeable at the age of 30, when the views of neighbors and the questions of others constantly remind us that loneliness is not normal, that it is not customary to live for ourselves in our world.
Married after thirty or Fear of loneliness
Psychologists call the age of 27 years critical when a woman begins to want very much to enter into an alliance with a man, when there is a need to develop not alone, but within the family. These beliefs are not true for everyone, since everyone has their own biorhythms and needs. But the world from this age begins to stimulate relations. Mom and grandmother are already waiting for their grandchildren, friends are all already in pairs and even rest only in families. And just at this time, a woman’s fears begin to manifest.
Fear of loneliness
A girl may feel successful, attractive, and even happy, but this does not prevent her from feeling fear of loneliness. He sneaks up unnoticed and manifests itself in the form of a thought- What if nobody needs me? What if the ideal man I’m waiting for doesn’t come? And it stimulates the lady to search. Suddenly, special eyes light up in her eyes, which indicate a hunt for the opposite sex. Many argue that those who want to get married can be easily recognized among the crowd, it is precisely the aspiration that is read in every movement, in every word that gives them out.
And the more time passes, the stronger the desire to get married. And not for the sake of their own well-being, but to prove to themselves and others that everything will work out. To make sure that you need what is in demand. And these emotions suddenly become stronger than the voice of the mind or heart. And here you can easily not notice the man’s shortcomings, his negative habits or even his inability to be realized. After all, it is not the future that matters, but the fact of the wedding.
The fear of loneliness drives many women over thirty. It interferes with building a family, and does not help, as many people think. It can lead to marriage, but maintaining a relationship will be more difficult when the eyes of reality open. He rushes the woman, pushes her to rash decisions, which sometimes can only do harm, and not give happiness.
The same fear of loneliness works in dysfunctional relationships. For example, they have been together for several years, he is not ready to support his family, does not fulfill her requests, and the lover is not the best. But a woman is not exempt from oppressive union. She suffers, as she is very afraid that nothing will happen. She clings to an existing man, suffers any humiliation, just not to be alone. This is how they live with drug addicts, alcoholics, or those who give up.
How to become happy after 30?
If you notice a fear of loneliness, do not be upset. Almost everyone has this program, and it is not negative. For a very long time, she saved the lives of our ancestors. In ancient times, loneliness led to death. Man could not survive in the wild without the help of his associates, and this emotion – the fear of loneliness – was recorded at a deep level, almost like instincts. But modern psychology has learned to control the manifestations that interfere in life.
The easiest way to remove fear is to begin to observe it. Analyze your behavior when emotion turns on, when thoughts of loneliness begin to interfere with life. Note that this program works, and it will become easier to live right away. Focus your attention not on desires, but on their causes. Why do you want to be so? Why are you acting like that? And the answer will often be the above fear.
Write the benefits of loneliness on a piece of paper. Make the list as detailed and complete as possible. Read these lines regularly so as not to forget that liberation from gravitating unions is the path to something new, it is a step towards your own happiness. This will help to understand that it is better to be alone than with people who are not worthy of you. And do not try to get married for the sake of someone else’s opinion.
Stop worrying about your need
Take a look around – people with lesser skills and talents are in demand and loved. And that means that you too will meet your love. And you do not need a stamp in your passport, but sincerity and admiration. Do not aim marriage, think about love.
Start practicing yourself, increase your self-esteem. And learn to be alone. Not in order to live this whole life, but not to be afraid of this condition. Many people read when they are alone, draw or create something. Many creative people prefer to work in complete silence and the absence of someone else. Learn to enjoy the minutes you spend with yourself.
Learn to meditate
Immersion in oneself allows one to free oneself from many negative energies, and also gives a state of relaxation, joy of life. Many meditations allow you to take a fresh look at life, discover new facets and see perspectives that you have not even dreamed about before.