Why do we need love or connection?
We want love,connection, relationship, and love. This feeling appears to many to be the answer to the main questions and promises fabulous happiness. And while everyone knows the back of the glittering medal –the pain of parting, we are still striving for cordial affection. What gives us so much love? Without her bright and rich life, is it possible?
LAW OF NATURE
American psychologist and one of modern psychology founders, William James, was convinced that a passionate desire to be appreciated is the deepest quality of people. Our social nature condemns us to rely emotionally on other people’s acceptance. Even if you consider yourself a self-sufficient person, you are still affected by the evaluation of others.
Why do we need love or connection?
At least, it is the degree of other people’s acceptance and feedback that shapes our childhood perception of ourselves. There is no “I” without “you” – this is the main personal development law. Remember the omnipresent pyramid of needs of Abraham Maslow: if you don’t want to eat and sleep, and the surrounding environment is safe enough, the need for belonging and acceptance is taken, the necessity of love.
IN THE SAME WAVE
What is so appealing to us in another person’s feeling of closeness and warmth? Why is love a necessity, not an enjoyable addition to our already eventful life? Love is still different from other relationship types. It is an experience of the Other’s value, a positive emotion of what it is in the world. Moreover, when my “I” meets a kindred “I” in you, an emotional resonance emerges in a love affair. There is a desire to do well with each other while staying alone.
Another obvious answer is: dopamine production and the stimulation of the fun-filled brain areas. After all, falling in love is a chemical process, which is also pleasant at the physical level, has long been no secret.
Tempting- love or connection
If everything sounds so tempting then what is the danger? Unfortunately, the cult of romantic relationship or love in society was not superimposed on physiology. You need time to create a pair! Living alone is so sad! Admit, you have been visited by such thoughts at least once. Sometimes a person is willing to forget about himself, his dreams and talents in order to feel the closeness or at least change the status in social networks. As a result, when life without a partner is intolerable and loneliness turns into emotional torture, people increasingly find themselves in a co-dependent relationship. Leapfrogging of novels and dating starts just to fill the soul’s gap
LONELINESS ON JOY
Often we don’t think about how to take care of ourselves in this difficult task in pursuit of a companion or life companion. But first you need to learn to take care of yourself and love yourself, and then another person’s feeling will flourish with new colors. Accept your own weaknesses, if he’s too strict, limit the inner critic. Even for small victories, praise yourself more frequently. Look in yourself for beauty and dignity and don’t be afraid to brighten them up.
If you’re familiar with the gray stagnation feeling when your loved one isn’t around, engage in increasing self-worth. Make yourself a gift or make yourself an enjoyable adventure.
In silence and fragrant foam, fill the bath and spend sweet moments. Cook the favorite dish you like. Figure out how to please yourself to bring sincere pleasure to time alone! Living a period outside the relationship is extremely important in order to give love to yourself alone. Then a new novel’s expectation won’t be so painful, and it won’t break your heart into pieces.
If you still have trouble accepting yourself and strengthening your own self-esteem, love is again the solution to this problem. Look out for people who understand you and accept you. It’s not the one you’re dreaming of day and night. Feeling can come from anywhere: from a childhood friend, old acquaintance, or even from a store salesperson with whom there is regular psychic conversation. Look at love as a gift and often refer to the thought: “If you can treat me this way, you can love me.”